Be there for you
by ChairCaskett
Summary: Kate wakes up in a hospital bed and she doesn't know how she ended up there. Will she let Castle be there for her and help her adjust to the changes that have occured in her life?
1. Welcome back!

_Hello everyone!_

_I know I have an other story in progress but I'm kind of suffering from writer's block with this one._

_However, I got an idea a few days ago and it kept harassing me, so I just had to write it down, and I would really love to know what other people think about it._

_So, on to the story, as said in the summary, Kate wakes up to find herself in hospital and... not everything is exactly as it used to be!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

« Richard, stop pacing before you make a hole in the floor. Or in my nerves, for that matter ! » Martha said dramatically.

"What am I supposed to do Mother? Just sit quietly and wait? It's been weeks and she has still not woken up, I'm..."

Martha got closer to her son and put a comforting hand on his arm, squeezing it gently.

"I know you're worried Darling, but there is nothing you can do... How about I go and get you a cup of tea? Meanwhile, try to calm down, read a book, call Alexis or talk to her! I'm sure she would be thrilled to hear about your last stupid actions" she joked.

And it works. Castle seemed to relax.

"Thank you Mother..." His mother waved at him and left the room, leaving Castle alone in the deathly silence of the room only troubled by the beep-beep of the machines. He got closer to the bed and sat down, taking her hand in his, tracing random patterns with his thumb. He was worried about how she would react to the fact that she was stuck in a hospital bed, worried that she would take even longer to wake up, but what scared him the most was that she wouldn't wake up, he knew that there were risks.

"Well Detective" he started, "looks like you can get on my nerves too. Because right now, I think I might be going crazy... You really need to wake up you know... I am aware that things between us were a little rocky before it happened, but I would really like to have a chance to make it up to you. I know I screwed up, but..." Suddenly, he stopped. Did she just... No, it must have been a dream. But, wait! No, he was right! She was moving her fingers, squeezing his lightly since he was still holding her hand . He sat still for a minute or two until she finally started to open her eyes. She looked around her, slightly disoriented until she noticed Castle.

"Cas... Castle?" she asked, her throat obviously dry.

The writer turned around and grabbed the glass of water that was on the nightstand.

"Here" he said "take a sip".

She drank a little before turning back to him, looking at him with confused eyes. But then, the confusion disappeared, replaced by a flash of anger when she saw that he was sitting on her bed, holding her hand as if it was perfectly normal.

"Castle?! What do you thing you're doing here?!" she snapped, taking her hand back.

* * *

_Tah-dah! I know, it was short. But what do you think about it? Love it? Hate it? Please give me your opinion?_

_And if I see that you like, I might post another update later._

_XOXO_

_ChairCaskett_


	2. What happened?

_So, here's chapter two. I know, it's still very short but I'm not very good at writing long stuff, but I will try._

_I'm not sure how good it is since I usually write stories where the back story is entirely different, but I tried to imagine how Kate could feel in such a situation, which I hope is quite clear (but not too much, let's keep mistery) so yeah, not too sure about that one, but I guess your opinion will be the best I can get._

_I would also like to point out that English isn't my first language so, if there are any mistakes, just tell me, it would be greatly appreciated._

_I'll try to update tomorrow._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Castle stared at the woman in the bed, frozen.

"What are you, deaf?" she asked again in an aggressive tone.

Rick felt his knees go weak. He hadn't heard her use that tone in so long... What was going on?

He tried to take her hand once again, but she took it away as if the simple fact of him touching her would be dangerous.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked, finally finding his voice. "Do you want me to call a nurse?"

"What I want is an answer to my question!" she snapped again.

"Well, where would I be?" he asked, uncomfortable.

She eyed him intently with piercing eyes. Then she spoke, her voice and her eyes cold as the ice.

"Anywhere but here. What part of _'I never want to see you again'_ do you not get?"

Not bearing the feeling of her cold stare on him, Castle looked down and tried to remember when she had said that.

"Kate, you..."

"Get out!"

He stared at her in shock. Okay, he wasn't perfect, but he had done nothing to justify being treated like that! But he knew that there was no point in arguing. She was in the hospital, just waking up after a month in a coma (although no one could tell if they saw her right now) and probably very disoriented.

"Okay, let me just... I'll call a nurse and I'll go." he said, pushing the call button before turning away and leaving the room.

* * *

Kate watched him go, feeling a mix of anger and confusion. Who was he to think that he was welcome here? And what was that sad look on his face?

However, she didn't have time to dwell on these thoughts when a nurse entered the room.

"Hello sleepyhead" she said in a soft voice. "Glad to see you awake!"

"How long was I out?" Beckett asked, her cop instincts never really far.

"Almost a month, honey."

"What happened?" she asked, shocked.

"Car accident. You were crossing the street and he didn't stop. Pretty hard shock. You'd think the traffic would be slow with such an amount of cars on the street, but apparently, some find a way to ride too fast. How are you feeling?"

"Well, I was about to say 'like I got hit by a truck', but I guess it would be wrong..."

The nurse let out a small laugh and Beckett frowned. She had not really intended that as a joke...

She let the nurse, whose name was Lilian check her and then, she tried to answer her questions the best she could. She was asking random things as where she lived, her family, and by the look on Lilian's face, she could tell that there had to be a problem.

"What's the last thing you remember?" the nurse asked gently, with a concerned frown.

Kate started to think about it, but her mind was blank.

* * *

Meanwhile, Castle was pacing in the hall, which his mother joked about when she came back with two cups of tea. But by the face her son was making, she started to worry.

"You were scared that the room's floor would be damaged by now so you took it here?... Richard, what's going on? Is there a problem?"

"She woke up."

"Well, that's wonderful, have you called Alexis yet? And Lanie and..."

"I haven't called anyone Mother" he cut her. "And I don't think it would be a great idea."

"But, why?"

Rick sighed and then motionned his mother towards the row of seats against the wall.

"We should sit down."

They both looked at their feet for a few moments, neither willing to break the silence, when Castle couldn't take it anymore.

"I think there's a problem. A big problem. With her head..."

He let another minute pass, waiting for his mother to ask questions, but when it didn't come, he spoke again, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"I was... by her side, on the bed and... I was holding her hand when I felt her fingers move. As I'm sure you can guess, I was relieved, but then, she saw our linked hands and she... I don't know, it looked like she was freaking out. And then, she said something really weird and she kicked me out of the room."

"Oh Richard..." she said, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly, "What did she say?"

"She, huh... She asked me what part of _'I never want to see you again'_ was too hard to understand, but Mother... She never said that!"

"Oh yes, she did." she corrected him. "But that was..."

"A long time ago." he said, looking at her with his scared little boy eyes.

* * *

"Can you remember?" the nurse asked gently. "Or is it too blurry?"

"Hum, no, I think I can" Kate said, concentrating really hard. "I was... As a matter of fact, I think I was at the hospital, visiting an old friend of mine, Will Sorenson, although I'm not sure why he was here... And Castle came into the room and asked for a word, so I followed him out and... He told me something... About my mother's murder... I got angry and I kicked him out."

"Out of the hospital?"

"No, out of the precinct. And out of my life."

* * *

_Tah-dah! Here it is, I hope it's more satisfying than the first one, I am aware that that one was definitely too short._

_So? What do you think about it?_

_XOXO_

_ChairCaskett_


	3. Explanation

_Hello, as I promised, here is the new chapter!_

_As Rhonda Roo pointed out, it's a little angsty, but it will definitely become lighter, I promise. I just thought that some things needed to be done, but that should be the last angsty chapter._

_I would also like to say that, while I've updated twice in two days, it won't stay like that because I'm going back to school tomorrow so it will be hard to update every day. However, I promise to try to update twice a week._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

"When you say Castle, you mean... Richard Castle, the author?"

"Yes, why?"

"Just wanted to know. And, if you told him to leave you alone, why do you think he was here?"

"Because he's like a kid who tries to make as much mistakes as possible and I guess he thought he could take advantage of the situation" Beckett answered sharply.

"I think I'll let you get some rest" the nurse said.

"Rest, are you kidding? I just had a month to rest, I'm not going to..."

"You need to, honey. When you wake up, your family will be there, I'll call them."

_'Them'_ Kate thought. Who were them? It was only her father and herself. She opened her mouth to ask, but the nurse was already gone.

* * *

"Mister Castle? I'm Lilian, the nurse who took care of Kate."

"Yeah, I saw you around" Rick said, shaking her hand. "So, can you tell me what's going on?"

"I can't tell you much before performing further exams when her doctor arrives, but I think it's still safe to say that her memory has been... kind of altered."

"Altered?" asked Martha. "You mean memory loss?"

"Exactly."

"How bad?" Rick asked, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable, even worse than when he was facing Kate's glare in the room. That would definitely explain it.

"Don't really know. But, I asked her a few questions about her situation and there are a few things that don't add up with the contents of her file."

"What things? I've known her for so long, I could help you!"

"I actually think that the best you could do would be to go in there and talk about it with her, but she seemed pretty clear that she..." she stopped, feeling like she had no right to say this.

"She doesn't want to see me, I know. What exactly did she tell you?"

"She talked about a friend of hers named Will Sorenson, I think. Is the name familiar?"

Castle's face went pale. He looked at her mother and she seemed to think the same.

"Sorenson?" Martha said. "But you haven't seen the man since..."

"Mother, I think I need to go talk to her. Why don't you call Alexis and tell her that she might have to stay at the loft for a little while longer?"

* * *

In her room, Kate was trying to rest, like she had been advised to, but she couldn't find sleep. Something was bothering her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it had something to do with the way Castle had looked at her? He looked so... broken?

She sighed. She shouldn't even think about him. He had betrayed her. End of the story.

She ran her hand through her hair and two things caught her attention.

First, there was something wrong with her hair. She had a ponytail. Since when could she tie her hair in a ponytail?

But the second thing was even more disturbing, so she forgot about her hair for a moment and glanced at her left hand to see if what she had seen was true. There, on her ring finger, there was...

"What the..." she muttered as the door slid open.

"Can I come in?" Castle asked nervously.

He waited for an answer, and when he heard nothing, he poked his head inside. Kate was in the bed, staring at her left hand with a scared look on her face.

"Oh no" he muttered.

Ignoring the fact that she still hadn't answered, he entered. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to need his help.

* * *

"Hey" he said when he got to her bedside.

She looked up at him, but her face was blank. The hatred she had showed towards him earlier seemed to be gone, she was still.

"Kate, look at me" he whispered, his voice soft.

He reached for her hand, but she didn't let him. He sighed.

"What is that?" she asked, looking down, her voice trembling.

Castle lifted her chin to force her to look at him. And he didn't like what he saw. She looked vulnerable, almost fragile. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she put her mask back. The one she used when they first met. He sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Do I even want to know?" she asked, sounding more confident than she actually was.

"Probably not." he admitted.

"Do I _have _to know?"

"Yes."

She looked down at her hand for a second, then back up at Castle. If the look on his face was anything to go by, he was right. She was not going to like it.

"Okay, spill".

He ran his hand through his face than handed her his hand. She looked at it, confused, then she took it cautiously. There it was on his ring finger. A wedding band. And not just any wedding band. It seemed to be a perfect match to hers. Sensing that Kate was not comfortable with the physical contact, Castle took his hand back and started talking.

"As I said, you're probably not going to like it, but you have the right to know."

"So, we really are..." Kate asked, trying to hide her emotions.

"Yeah."

"How did it happen?" She winced at her question, expecting a jackass comment from the writer but he didn't seem to be in the mood for that, so she just waited for him to talk.

"Well, I think I'll just give you the short story for today because, it's already a lot to take in. So, let's say that, throughout the years, we got closer, we were slowly becoming real partners..."

"Wait, you came back?!"

"You let me. But it's not really important right now so, how about you let me explain what I think is useful and then you can ask me any question you have, how does that sound?" he asked gently.

"Fine, go on" she muttered.

"So, as I was saying, we got closer. We went through a lot of things and I think that it made us slowly become more than friends. But everytime we seemed to be ready for something more, something else came in the way, so we remained just partners for four years. That is until I decided to leave, it was... just too hard to stand there. But then, later that day, you showed up at my doorstep, soaking wet and you apologized for everything that had happened, which led to what was probably one of the best night of..." he stopped, realizing that it wasn't the time to joke. "Anyway, after four years of playing hide-and-go-seek, we were finally together. That was six years ago" he added, knowing that no one had bothered to tell her what year it actually was. "We dated for a year before I proposed to you. And then, a year later, we got married. And, you're probably not ready to hear it, but our wedding day was the best day of my whole life, and every day since was great."

A few moments passed where neither of them spoke. They weren't looking at each other either. Rick was way too scared about what she would think of it, and Kate, well...

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of concern when he heard a muffled sound coming from his wife.

The woman was crying, for what, Castle wasn't sure, but it made him even more uncomfortable.

"Do you... Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked softly, resisting the urge to hold her hand and never let go. But he couldn't. "Or I could call your dad."

Kate nodded quietly.

"Castle wait!" she asked, making him turn around. "Could you come back later? I kind of have questions, but..."

"Of course, I understand, don't worry. When do you want me to come back?"

"I'll ask a nurse to call you" she said, assuming that he must be on her emergency contacts list.

"Okay" he said with a tender smile. "You should try to get some rest before your dad arrives."

* * *

Left alone in her bedroom, Kate realized that there was no way she would get any rest. Not after... _this_. No way.

She sighed. Her head was hurting. Really bad. She felt like it might explode. She needed a pain killer. She usually wasn't too keen on taking pills, but the pain was unbearable.

She pressed the call button and waited, trying to relax. Suddenly, the voice of the nurse startled her. And added to her headache.

"Mrs Castle! Glad to see you awake!" she said cheerfully. "What can I do for you?"

Beckett winced. _Mrs. Castle_? Now that felt weird.

"I... huh... My head is pounding." she explained. "Would it be possible to..."

"Of course, honey, I'll go get you an aspirin."

What was it with all the nurses calling her 'honey'?!

While she was waiting for the nurse to come back, her mind started working hard, trying to process everything she had heard she waking up. Mrs Castle? Really? Maybe he was messing with her? Yeah, that was the only explanation that made sense. This man-child had thought it would be funny to confuse her. But then, why had he told her all that? He didn't seem to be inventing. But then again, he was a writer, he made things up for a living. But he seemed so... concerned, like he genuinly cared. And why had the nurse called her 'Mrs Castle'?

She let out a deep sigh. This was too much.

"Here's your aspirin. You should get some rest." the nurse said before leaving.

Kate sighed. She didn't want to rest. She wanted her father to arrive soon. She wanted answers.

* * *

_Tah-dah! So? What do you think? I'm quite nervous about Castle's explanation and Kate's feelings about it, so, I would really love to hear your thoughts. I tried to make it emotional while trying to keep the situations and the characters in mind. I re-watched some season 1 épisodes, but I think that Kate is actually hard to write..._

_XOXO_

_ChairCaskett_


	4. Decision

_Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I had a big problem with my connection and, well. I couldn't post._

_So, on to the chapter. I'm not guilty! The characters took on a life of their own so I'm not to blame! I think I'm being hard on Kate (yeah, I'm a mean person)._

_By the way, I think I will also label this story as angst since it now seems inevitable. I will do my best to still be light, but just to be sure..._

_Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

"Hey, Katie." her father greeted her. "How are you?"

She opened her eyes. Okay, so maybe she did seed to rest. Later.

"Hey dad" she answered with a smile for the first time of the day.

Jim Beckett sat on the chair at her bedside and took her hand, which oddly, left her with a strange feeling.

"So, looks like Sleeping Beauty finally left your body" her dad joked. "Good to see you."

"Dad!" she reprimanded him with a slight smile. "But since you asked, I'm fine. Sort of." she added hesitantly.

Her father looked at her and immediately became serious. He had talked with Rick, so he knew that his daughter was amnesic. And he had an idea about what was going on in his Katie's head.

"What's on your mind, Katie Bug?" he asked gently.

"What's going on, dad?" she asked, looking desperate.

"You saw Rick, huh?"

"Yeah, he was here when I woke up." Instinctively, she looked at her left hand. She thought it was funny since she had been awake for about 2 hours.

"Is it true?"

"Have you talked with him? Because I think that I'm not the best person to tell you about it."

"He told me dad. I think I'm smart enough to figure out what this" she said, showing her ring "means, but my mind is not twisted enough to make this up. So, yeah, I talked with him, but I... I can't believe it, it's just. What happened? How could I let it happen?! Did he trick me into bed and knock me up?"

Jim couldn't help but smile. Her daughter may think that she had only known her writer for a few months, but he was definitely already rubbing off on her. _Eww, _he thought. He did NOT want to think like that when it came to his daughter!

"What's so funny dad?"

"Nothing." he lied.

"Right" she said, rolling her eyes. "But that doesn't answer my question."

"Actually, I was thinking that you were wrong."

She looked at him, puzzled.

"But you'll see what I mean later."

She eyed him for a minute or two, hoping to get him to answer her questions, but she had to accept that he wouldn't.

"So... I'm married?" Her father nodded. "And... _in love_? With _Castle_?"

"Don't look so disgusted sweetheart. You admitted yourself that he was quite something."

"It can be negative, you know." she pointed.

"Yeah, but it wasn't, we both know that. Or at least, that's what your blushing indicated."

"I did not..." she started. But then she stopped, realizing that her dad was just teasing her. "It's not funny" she pouted.

"Oh, yes it is."

He felt a little bad for teasing his daughter and making fun of her while she was lying in a hospital bed, struggling to figure out what had happened in the last ten years, but he didn't know what else to do. There were so many things that he was in no position to tell her and that she wasn't ready nor willing to hear. Besides, if the light smile on her face was anything to go by, he couls tell that she enjoyed the break.

"So you must be retired now" she said, thinking.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm not that old!" he said.

She raised an eyebrow.

"But yes, I'm retired."

She smirked at him and then, the room fell silent again. She seemed more relaxed.

"Do I still work at the 12th?" she asked pensively.

"Yeah you do. I don't think you could imagine yourself do something else that that. Although, there was this one time when you were given an opportunity in DC, a job at the Attorney General's office."

Her eyes sparked. "The Attorney General? You mean, like the FBI? Why did I say no?!"

"You didn't."

"Then why am I still in New-York?"

"Actually, you got fired?" he said, looking for her reaction.

"_Fired_? What do you mean, _fired_?!"

"Apparently, you didn't like the way the FBI works. You've always cared about justice and, well... These guys never attack important people, you know."

"Ughhh. So I'm back at being Detective?"

"Yeah, and you love it."

"Does Castle still follow me around? I mean, he shouldn't if we are..." she stopped, unable to say the word.

Jim decided not to push. "No, he stopped two years ago. He had a lot of work and he didn't have time anymore."

Kate tried to process all that. So she had indeed taken Castle back. She would have to ask him why.

"And Montgomery let him stay even when we were... together?" she forced the word out. It just didn't sound normal. "I mean, I knew that he likes Castle, but..."

"Katie... Montgomery is dead..."

"What?!"

"He was killed 7 years ago..."

"Oh my God" Kate muttered. "How?"

"Look, I'm not the good person to tell you this, you should really discuss it with Rick."

They remained silent for a while.

"Dad? Could you...?"

"What is it Katie?" he asked worried.

"Look, I'm getting tired, could you..."

"Of course, don't worry. Do you want me to come back tomorrow?"

Kate nodded and said. "Could you call Castle? Tell him that I'd like to see him in, let's say an hour so that I can get some sleep before? I have a feeling I am going to need energy for what he has to tell me."

Jim kissed his daughter on the forehead and said "Don't worry, I'll tell him. See you tomorrow" before leaving. "Oh and Katie? He cares about you you know. Just... don't push away, he needs you, your family needs you..."

* * *

Two hours later, Kate woke up. Castle was at her bedside.

"How long have you been here staring?" she asked, too sleepy to even bother.

"I just got in. I know you asked me to leave you an hour, but I figured you might need more so I came later."

"Thanks."

When she said nothing else, Rick started to hover around in the room, holding his bag.

"What are you doing?" she asked, surprised.

"You know, I like this room, it's not bad, but it's too empty."

He turned around and she could see what he was doing. He was hanging frames. Pictures. Of them. Not wanting to discuss this just yet, she asked.

"So, that's what you came here for? Hanging photos? Or you just wanted to see me?" she knew that teasing could be seen as stalling, but she didn't know what else to do.

"Well, of course I wanted to see you, what do you think?" he asked, serious. "Never doubt that. But... I know why I'm here and... You haven't asked any question yet, so I'd rather wait than say the wrong thing. But if you're still tired..."

"No, I'm fine..." She said nothing for a while then she surprised him with her question. "Castle, how big is... our family?"

Castle looked at her, surprised. Now how was he supposed to answer to that?

"Kate, you sure you want to know?"

"No, but yes!"

"Well, the loft now has four inhabitants" he started cautioulsy.

"You mean, you, Alexis, your mother and I?" she asked, almost hopeful.

Rick wasn't looking at her, but she was sure he was red as a tomato. "Castle?"

"Alexis has her own appartement and my mother dedided to leave when we got married..."

"So... You mean that..."

Instead of answering, he took his bag and took another photo out and showed it to her. She gasped. Two. There were two kids. And they were the same age. Her face went blank.

"Please tell me this is a joke..."

"Kate, I swear to you that it's not. I'm not a monster, you know."

Kate thought about it for a moment, over and over, but she could only think of one thing to say.

"I want to meet them."

"Are you sure?"

"Castle, if they are my kids, I want to see them." she said almost fiercely.

"So you're okay with all this?" he asked, unsure.

She looked up at him, right into his eyes, and he could see something in them, something reassuring.

"I don't know. But by the looks of it, you managed to make me be okay with it once. Do you think you could do it again?"

"Always" he said, knowing that the word probably meant nothing to her right now. But hey, she was _willing_ to try, and that was more than he could ever have hoped for.

* * *

_So? Can I come out of my hiding place? :)_

_Next update should be on Friday. Have a nice week!_

_XOXO,_

_ChairCaskett_


	5. Family reunion

_Hey guys!_

_I really want to apologize for the late update, but I don't think I know a word that would really say how very sorry I am. Believe me!_

_I really wanted to update on Friday like I had promised, but when I came home from school, I found out that my friends had organized a surprise party for my birthday which lasted long, then Saturday I spent the whole day celebrating with my family and yesterday, I had so much homework there was no way I could have done anything. Really, I don't think I ate at all. But here it is, finally. And I apologize again, because I'm pretty sure you weren't expecting it to turn this way, honestly neither was I, but the characters took a life of their own and decided._

_I hope you will still like it._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

A few hours later, Castle came back home. He had talked for a long time with his wife, about them, about the kids, but when he saw that it was starting to be too much, he had decided to leave. They had agreed that he would come first thing in the morning with the twins. Now, all he had to do was to tell them and most of all, to prepare them. How do you explain memory loss to a two year old?

"Richard! You're home!" Martha almost shouted.

"Where are the boys?" Castle asked.

"They're in the bathroom with Alexis, they insisted that she had to bath them."

She let her son sit down on the couch and after a few moments of silence, she spoke.

"How is she doing?" she asked softly.

"First of all, just like we suspected when the nurse mentionned Sorenson, she thinks we're still in 2009. So, as you may guess, she was shocked when she saw the ring on her finger. Even more when she saw the same one on my finger."

"Oh, God! That poor girl must be devastated! Don't get upset, Richard, but she kind of hated you at the time." she added.

"Yeah, I know, but she's being surprisingly cool about it. That kind of worries me, you know. I feel like she has to break down, I mean, who wouldn't? But she seems fine... And... She knows about the kids."

"How? Don't tell me you dropped that bomb on her already!"

"No! I swear, I didn't! Well, I know that I would have had to tell her eventually, but not today, I definitely thought that she wouldn't be ready. She's the one who asked, out of the blue!"

"And how did she take it?" Martha asked cautiously. After all, she remembered how Kate was when she met her son. And she was pretty sure that it was too much for the young woman.

"I'm not too sure about that... She asked, or rather demanded to meet them."

"Wow, that's... surprising."

"Not that much, actually. I've been trying to think like her, to put myself in her shoes, and I thought about this one case with the little girl. Angela, I think. Kate practically never slept during that case, I could stop by at the precinct at any time, and she was there. You should have seen her face when we found the little girl, Mother. Or when she found out the truth about the mother. And that was in 2009, I think that even back then she cared deeply about children. So I assume that she couldn't bear to let them down, especially if they are hers."

"Are you sure?" Martha wasn't convinced. She didn't really know Kate back then, but she seemed kind of career-driven, it seemed impossible that she would think about kids.

"Yeah, I know her, she used to hide her feelings, but she always had a big heart."

"Well, if you say so..."

She was interruppted by a trio of "Dad!" when her three grandchildren came down.

"Hey little ones!" Castle greeted, hugging his sons. "I hope you didn't make your sister take her bath as well" he said, knowing that the boys tended to put water everywhere.

"No, they were nice, I only had to change my T-shirt, my pants were okay" Alexis said, smiling.

"Hey pumpkin, how are you."

"Fine. So... Is it true? Grams told me that she was awake..."

Castle told her to wait a second and then knelt down in front of his sons.

"Hey little ones, could join your grams. Ask her to watch Mickey Mouse" he said, knowing that it would keep his sons busy for quite some time.

"So?" Alexis asked. "What's going on?"

"She's awake. But there is one problem."

"What is it?" Alexis was worried. Her dad didn't seem able to say what was going on and her mind was creating awful scenarios.

"She thinks we're in 2009."

"Oh. My. God. Does that mean that... she doesn't remember?" She didn't need to be more specific, he understood.

"Yes it does. She thinks she asked me to get out of her life. The good thing is, she seems willing to hear me out. She also wants to meet the kids."

"Wow, that's... something." She didn't say 'surprising', she knew Kate.

"Yeah. So, if you will excuse me, I need to talk to the boys, and then I'll put them to bed, and then go to sleep too, I'm exhausted."

"Of course. Do you want me to put them to bed, so that you can rest?"

"No, thank you pumpkin, I'll be fine" he said, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

The next day, Castle woke up early. He showered, prepared breakfast, woke the twins, and at ten o'clock, they were at the hospital. He was nervous. He had talked to his sons, but they had barely listened to him and it was obvious that they hadn't understood everything, they were only two after all. And, he knew how they could be when they were exited. And they were definitely exited to see their mom! But how would she react? He knocked at the door, he didn't want to come in if she was asleep.

"Come in!"

Rick held his sons back and reminded them.

"Hey little monsters, don't forget that your mom is hurt, so, don't jump on her bed, okay?"

The little boys nodded and then rushed in the room.

"Mommy!"

When she heard the word, Beckett's heart skipped a beat. Which didn't go unnoticed by Castle, thanks to the heart monitor.

"Hey, boys, slow down" he said.

He got closer to his wife, he wanted to kiss her, but he was pretty sure it was off limits, so he just sat down on the chair.

Kate, however, didn't even notice him. Her eyes were fixated on the little boys. Two beautiful little boys. They were definitely Castle's kids, there was no doubt. However, they didn't look like her. They had green eyes, but so did a lot of people. But then, why did she feel that way when she looked at them?

"What are their names?" she asked, hating herself for having to ask that.

"Meet Ethan Alexander Castle, and Maxim James Castle. I know, it sounds a little weird, but I swear that you agreed to it" he said, winking at her.

She tried to smile, but she couldn't. She didn't even know what she felt. But she knew one thing. She wanted them close to her. So she tried to get herself in the middle of the bed so that they could climb in around her. Which they gladly did.

And she was definitely not prepared for what she felt when they did. She was overwhelmed. She didn't even know them, and yet, she was litteraly overwhelmed by... whatever it was that she felt. She didn't know.

Meanwhile, Castle was looking at them, a true happy smile on his face. He knew the look on Kate's face. It was the same she had had when the kids were born and she had held them for the first time. And it warmed his heart to see that he had been right. Even the badass Detective Beckett he somehow had back in front of him was capable of love. And that was definitely a good sign.

* * *

While Castle was deep in his thoughts, Kate was only focused on her sons. Yes, _her_ sons.

She knew that they were only two years old, so it was obvious that she wasn't having a long conversation with them -she had been quick to find out that the only word they could say was 'mommy'- but being there, with them, hearing them call her mommy, it felt surprisingly right. And now, they were asleep and she wasn't even uncomfortable with having two toddlers cradled in her arms.

She looked up to Castle, intending to ask for details, but he was faster than her.

"They started saying 'Mommy' a few days ago. That's their first word. They said it at about the same time, although Max was earlier by about two hours."

Beckett thought about it. So they had said their first word while she was away. She knew it wasn't her fault, but still, what kind of mother did it make her? What kind of mother was she anyway? Did she share a lot of time with them? How did she manage having a family with her job?

"Tell me about them" she almost demanded. "About us."

"They were born on 15th March, two years ago." he started.

"Oh my God, I missed their birthday?" she hissed, careful not to wake them but still wanting to know more.

"Don't worry, you had already chosen their presents. And, honestly, I don't think they really understand the idea of 'birthday', so don't worry about that. They did miss you, of course, but not more than any other day." He let her have time to absorb what she had just heard, then spoke again. "That day, when you saw them for the first time, you had this spark in your eyes. You were still swearing that I would never touch you again, but I could tell that you at least had no regrets for that time. They make you happy, Kate. They make all of us happy. I'm pretty sure I know why you asked that, so let me reassure you. You are a wonderful mother. You're extraordinary, I need you to know this. Every Sunday, you take them and you spend the whole day with them."

"I have every Sunday off?" she asked, surprised.

"Don't ask me how you did it, I have no idea! Gates, the captain is called 'Iron Gates' and it fits her perfectly, so I don't know how you could convince her to let you have Sunday off. But you did. And you enjoy them with the kids. And I don't really know what you guys do, it's kind of your thing, the only moment when you get to be only the three of you, but I know that it's very important for them, and for you. Hum... What else can I say? What do you want to know?"

"How are they?"

"Max is a lot like you."

"Poor kid" she said, only half joking.

"No! He's a lucky kid! He's a discreet little boy that's for sure. For example, when we take them to the play ground, he's not the one to go towards other kids, Ethan usually does it. But the funny thing is, if a kid is being mean to them, Max is the one who's going to take control. Two years old and already bossy. I'm kidding!" he added when he saw Kate narrowing her eyes at him. "Anyway, when he's at home, he's quite discreet too. He hardly ever cries. He spends a lot of time with you and Alexis when she's there."

"What about Ethan?" she asked to Castle's relief. He was more than happy to talk about his sons, but he was afraid that if he told her how close Max was to her compared to Ethan, it would cloud her judgement. He was pretty sure it wouldn't, but still.

"Well, Ethan is the perfect Mini Me! He definitely inherited my character, which sometimes makes you want to kill me. He's only two, but he's already imagined a great amount of pranks. Like the time when he sneaked in the kitchen when I was making your coffee, I don't know how he did it, but he managed to replace the bowl of sugar with salt without me noticing. When he took his first steps ever, he came to you to give you a big hug, which you gladly accepted, of course, you were so proud. However, what you didn't know was that his hands and arms were full of paint, you only saw it when your blouse was ruined. Or, there was that one time when..."

"Castle!"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure he's only two?"

"Yes, why?"

"We must be a funny household..." she muttered between her teeth.

* * *

_Tah-dah!_

_What do you think? I'm only eighteen, so far fom being a mom, which means I know nothing about what parents feel for their children. But I asked my mom and she assured me that no matter what happens, mothers are just 'connected' to their child, but she doesn't know anything about memory loss, so I don't know._

_About the kids, I was initially planning on a boy and a girl, but I saw that some of you wanted two boys. I realised that I should have asked you for name suggestions, I'm sure you would have come up with something more original than this, but I hope you still like it._

_The boys are greatly inspired by my nephews, and Ethan's prank were not invented, I really did this as a kid._

_About the next chapter, it could take a while, let's say sometime in the weekend, because I'm planning on focusing entirely on Kate's thoughts, I figured it would be good, but I don't want it to be too heavy so I'm going to need to work a lot on this._

_But I won't promise anything, I don't seem very good at keeping my promises..._

_XOXO,_

_ChairCaskett_


	6. Author's note

_Hi everyone !_

_ Sorry, no chapter today, I'm working on it but I really want it to be perfect but I have exams and so I don't have a lot of time._

_ I actually wanted to ask you something. Some of you pointed out that the twins should have said their first word way earlier, sorry about that. So, I was wondering if you were all comfortable with that or if you would like we to change the previous chapter and make them talk more ? _

_I'll see what you say to that and then I will do what you want._

_ This author's note will be deleted as soon as the next chapter is up._

_ By the way, thank you for your reviews, I read all of them but haven't had time to answer yet, so in case I can't answer individually to each one of you, I just want to thank you all for your support._

_ Have a nice week:) _

_XOXO__,_

_ ChairCaskett_


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